Sunday, January 22, 2012

Choosing happy.

A few days ago something a bit yuk happened. It wasn't terrible or life changing at all, it was just the way someone else's thoughtless actions affected me and my family. It gave me a bad taste in my mouth and an uncomfortable feeling in my tummy.

At first I felt angry and felt like going for a run or bashing the dust out of some rugs with a squash racket. Then I felt sad and felt like hiding in my bathroom and feeling sorry for myself. And then I wandered around aimlessly for a while not really knowing what to do with myself.

We have worked really hard to create the life we lead. We have discussed, we have prioritised, we have made plans and choices and tried really hard to live a life that makes us happy.

How is it fair that somebody else's thoughtless actions can threaten the happiness of my family? 

And then it occurred to me that they can't if I don't let them.

Crappy stuff happens no matter what, but if I don't react, if I don't give it air, then it wont be so big and it will soon fade away and become part of the back ground.

My priority, my job, is to focus on the good stuff and to keep on living a wonderful life with my family.

If you're looking for us we're out on the farm collecting sticks and making tee-pees for the beans and peas, we're weeding, we're planting, we're getting a lesson on nitrogen and nodules and we're collecting the coriander seeds. It's simple but it makes us happy.

We're choosing happy.

I hope you are too.

See ya. xx

58 comments:

  1. Great post Kate, beautiful photos. Choosing happy sounds like a good idea to me :)

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  2. Oh Kate. I'm so sorry someone has upset you like that. But I'm delighted to see you've worked through your initial hurt to come up with a positive response.

    You are spot on. By giving that person's words and actions any thought, you are giving them some power over your life. If you just think of them as mere words and forget about them, you retain the power.

    I love the attitude of "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". Does that help?

    J x

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  3. That is such a grat attitude - one I need to remember.

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  4. Optimism is a force of will right? When we are wronged in some way we choose how to interpret that feeling and how to react to that. Its not that sometimes its not really hard - cos it is but at some point we have to choose to keep feeling horrible or choose happy. Like you have. sometimes it takes longer than we would like to remember we can choose.

    PS the person that was mean is a poo poo head.

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  5. Sometimes you have to work through the emotions. To know what happy really is you have to give sad it's run in the limelight, if just for an instant. Then when it is time to stop feeling the sad bits, you can really love and appreciate the happy times.

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  6. Oh, I'm glad you've been able to allow someone else's to be just that - their problem. Oi send some of that coriander seed my way. The rats have had the last of what I've been able to put in the ground. I have two plants struggling after rats devoured my early summer crop. I put a home-made cloche over them every evening but it's not making much difference. They're weak and probably won't last.

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  7. Excellent post! Such lovely snaps and precious times with your gorgeous family, doing life appreciating stuff...together.
    I do agree with Becky though, you DO need to feel hurt, anger, sadness, disappointment so that you can recognise and feel joy.
    As a sufferer of clinical depression for many years, choosing "happiness" (which is often a very fleeting emotion and a real skill to acknowledge and appreciate) is not that easy.
    Somedays it is impossible.
    I am just grateful for every single second where I do feel lighter rather than darker, but I totally get that I need both to exist.
    AND I am learning to block out and disregard the nay-sayers...
    X

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  8. Good on you for working through it.
    Is the coriander for replanting or for cooking? I have some, but not sure what to do with it.
    And I just love the pretty dress with gum boots. So much like my girly girl.

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  9. good on you kate! choose happiness! i love it.

    x

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  10. Kate dont worry about what other people say, they are probably just being mean because they are jealous or dont have all your happiness., I love seeing photos of your family doing things together, and it does make me want to move to the country and just live the life where my kids can run around and play in the forest, or collect eggs and be close to nature like you guys are doing.

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  11. So true!!! I try to be proactive in life not reactive....but it is difficult and you need to constantly remind yourself to stay on track. Don't let anyone spoil your high from your trip...that time is and will always be precious..next stage in life ready to start :)

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  12. I had something meaningful and intelligent to say and then I got distracted by Pepper in her frock and gumboots. Awesome!

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  13. What a lovely and true post. I'm sorry that this happened to you but so glad that you've chosen to step above it and relish in your own happiness. Noone but you can let you get down! Good on you! :) I've newly followed your blog and am delighted to read it! PS> The photos in this post are just DIVINE! :) Loving the gumboots and dress combo!

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  14. I thought you were a bit flat when we popped in the other day. And I'm now I'm getting why. I guess the actions of others can alway potentially hurt us, sometimes I can get a bit caught up in the hurt myself. Today I had a similar thing happen and I've been really conscious of my own reactions, and like you I'm choosing to get on with things. It's ok to feel hurt & it's also good to take charge of how that unfolds. I guess. Hope you are having a happy day with the fambo. Much love xo

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  15. Giving thanks and choosing happiness has to be a decision made every day...but it makes for a much more fulfilled and peaceful life. xxx

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  16. Great post, I can really identify with all those feelings but I agree it is best to move on and focus on the good (usually easier said than done, hey?)

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  17. Sounds like a good idea Kate. Move on from the yuk.
    Pepper looks gorgeous. Beautiful dress and gumboots, can totally relate to fashion sense. Thats what 4 year old wears around here!

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  18. Couldn't agree more. Be happy! xK

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  19. gorgeous ppost, photos and family.
    it's so true - if you don't give a thing air, it can't live.
    the wolf you feed, wins.

    have a great week~X

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  20. Agree, but somethimes so so difficult.

    Outside our kitchen window today there was 70 cm new snow! And still it is snowing! The children are happy, we will choose happy, he he.

    Anyways, your photos makes me happy today, now I now summer will come. ;)

    Siv xxx

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  21. Great post. I can definitely relate, but I am finding it harder not to let it get to me. It's the lack of civility lately that is really getting me down. I just don't get why there is such a need for certain people to be so cruel and mean to other people. My grandmother used to say, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all", which sounds kind of trite, but it sure would be nice if it was used more often.This is sort of a dumb analogy but here goes: I don't like cole slaw at all. I actually think it is pretty disgusting. But I don't care if other people like it or choose to eat it, and more importantly, I don't think less of them if they do. I am simply not interested in making the rest of the world conform to MY ideas of what is good and what is bad. I just sometimes wish that some of these mean people would extend me the same courtesy. ...sigh....

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  22. Always choose happy. Good on you Kate.

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  23. Not always an easy thing to do, but makes more sense to put your energy into happy than anything negative. Well done. Love the things you do.

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  24. Yay for choosing what you let in to your world. It is unfortunate that others feel the need to bring us down. I think you guys are inspiring. I love that Miss Pepper is wearing her frock for working in, why not feel nice when you're working :)
    hugs xx

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  25. perfectly well said kate :). I read the other day that you can choose to stop frustration and anger in its tracks by choosing joy and joy is everywhere if you look around and take time to notice it ....... while anger and frustration rob us of precious moments of our lives. Thank you for showing me that I am not alone on this path of chooseing joy. happy, happy making in your beautiful life my friend!

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  26. Happy is good. Happy is excellent. I like your daughter's choice of garment for wood carting. It shows that life is made to be enjoyed even if our alternate ways of doing so upset some people. Cherrie

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  27. Definitely choosing happy here, Kate, and glad you are too. We have so much to be happy about.

    Just doing a bit of a bloggy-catch-up here. Been a headline-reader the last few weeks. Loving the photos and loving that we not only independently started knitting at the same time, but we appear to have independently started quilting at the same time. Go figure.

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  28. well, well said Kate - thank you for the reminder xx

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  29. A number of times last year I had experiences that made me feel the same way Kate. People who questioned what we do and how we live our lives and who were critical when there was non need to be.
    You made the right choice.
    Be who you and your family want to be, don't let the negative energy of others drag you down, live the life that is right for you and yours.

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  30. Good for you Kate! Its awful when something happens to put you in a bad place but then maybe not so bad and more great! as it has obviously made you realise your own power to keep on creating the life YOU and your family want not what someone else percieves and judges harshly. Looks like your doing a fabulous job to me xx

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  31. Precious, love that you and yours keep it simple. Blessed are those who do and keep it honest! Isn't it funny how some things just come and bite us on the but. Keep on choosing happy - some people just don't know how to! xx Rach

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  32. As the Dalai Lama always says: I believe the very purpose of life is to be happy.

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  33. Sometimes someone else's thoughtlessness serves to shine a light on our lives and remind us of the how and the why of what we do.

    We've had a little of that light shined here too ;) Doesn't change the thoughtlessness, but helps the perspective (for me, anyway.

    ox

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  34. I'm so with you on this one, Kate. I've started the new year sticking with this frame of mind and it works. If people want to be difficult/unpleasant...that's their problem but I'm not having any of it!x

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  35. It seems you make pretty good choices and this one is no different! Sorry to hear youve had a crappy time. sue

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  36. I'm a reader from pretty far away, and I don't know you and your family personally, but with every post you constantly inspire me with your lifestyle. I think it's beautiful, and as a young woman with no husband or children of my own (yet) I'm excited to see how my future family can possibly be a bit like yours, one day! You've obviously put a lot of loving work into your farm and family, and I respect that so very much.

    Is that too sappy? I hope not. I just want you to be aware (and I'm sure you already are) that there are people out there who will try to ruin what they don't understand, and people like me...who adore the lifestyle of someone they've never met and uphold it as a good and lovely thing. Just my two and a half cents, for you. :)

    Love from Seattle!

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  37. Good on you for not letting other people's yuckiness keep you down! You go gal:) choosing happiness is a project I too am working on.

    Cheers
    Selby

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  38. Glad to hear you rose above the unpleasantness Kate...choosing happy is good!
    Foxs Lane makes me happy, you are very inspiring...just saying :)
    xx

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  39. Good for you Kate. Something yuk happened to me a couple of years ago and I gave it way more energy than it deserved and it affected me deeply. If only I was as wise. Great post!

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  40. Oooh that wonderful book is really getting under your skin isn't it? I think about parts of it nearly every day. Isn't it amazing how much harder it can be sometimes to optimistic and positive, but so so worth it. My personal motto that has got me through some very dark complicated times is that as long as none of my children have leukaemia or diabetes then there is no time for dwelling or wallowing and just pull my socks up and get on with it. Writing thankyou letters every day is also really helping focus on all the wonderful people in my life and not the niggly ones. melx

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  41. hi Happy Kate,
    You are just ace!
    stay happy.

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  42. Way to go Kate, responding, not reacting :) :) :)
    x Sandi

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  43. Fantastic attitude Kate.
    Wonderful to pass this onto your kids too.

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  44. I hope happiness continues to reign surpreme at foxes lane xx

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  45. Exactly, well said!
    Some people just don't know when something they say or do may hurt someone else. They don't know that a rude comment or thoughtless action may hurt like a kick in the guts. You are getting on with it your way, that is all that matters it's what makes you happy and what you live for. I hope they see that you are moving on from that which they said to hurt you.

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  46. So true, not easy to remember when times are hard - maybe a should pin it to my fridge! x

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  47. Indeed.
    It is strong - if you give it strength!

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  48. I love your positive way of thinking I let someones words invade my thoughts and sleep for 2 years I wish i had been stronger it was a waste of my energy and family time. Keep strong. Most peoples nasty words come from a place of envy don't they say best revenge is a happy life x

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  49. Thank you for writing this. It is just the advice that I need. I let someone else's negativity into my head space and was feeling very STRESSED &YUK. I am now going to rise above it and choose HAPPY!

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Thanks so much for stopping by...

I do read every single comment you leave and appreciate it very much, but I should let you know that I can be a wee bit on the useless side when replying to comments, that's just me, everyday life sometimes gets in the way....so I'll apologise now, just in case.

Kate XX

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