Thursday, March 15, 2012
the one where i found out my kid is on facebook.
Last Friday afternoon I took a break from the primary school swimming sports and went up the street to get a coffee. Walking up the hill I bumped into friends from our valley who I hadn't seen since for ages. We caught up quickly and as I started walking off they called out to me 'We loved the video of Pepper singing that Adele song on facebook!'
I am not on facebook.
As far as I knew, no one who lives in my house is on facebook.
So how on earth did a video of Pepper singing get onto facebook?
And then it hit me. INDI!
I asked them if it had been on Indi's account (in as unwobbly a voice as I could muster.) They weren't certain but their kids are all on facebook so they assumed Indi was too.
I walked off feeling like I'd been punched. Like my little girl had snuck out of our quiet little farm and headed off to Chapel street on a Saturday night. Where was my baby who let me dress her in my creations and who told me all her secrets? How could she have kept something like this from me? She's only 11.
And then after I worked myself up into a frenzy, there was the second guessing. Was this a big deal? If all the other kids are on facebook, then am I overreacting? And biggest of all, how come she hadn't told us????
In the end we discussed it with her over dinner. She said she'd joined up the weekend before at a friend's place. She said she had intended to talk to us about it but hadn't gotten around to it. She thought we might say no. She said ALL her friends are on facebook. She said she is only facebook friends with her real life friends. She said she understood that she can no longer put images of her sisters on there without our permission. She agreed that I will join and that we will be friends there so I can see. She promised not to be part of and to report any negative behaviour. She told us a few of her friends have had their accounts deleted by their parents because of swearing this week.
She also agreed to let me post this blog as a record.
So here we stand, on the cusp of the big wide world of pre-teen-hood. Basically making it up as we go along. Trying to pick our battles, trying to keep the lines of communication wide open, trying to stay relevant, but also trying to set boundaries and keep her farmy and a bit childish too.
Man, I look forward to having more confidence and experience with this the second and third times around.